Car / Cheese

I HATE when I type a bunch of stuff, then my wrists might glide over some unforseen button or panel on this laptop and I LOSE EVERYTHING I JUST WROTE and I can't find a Back button to recover it. I HATE THAT.

While I was on the phone this morning, I saw Nikko take a play cell phone, put it up to his ear and have a conversation by nodding his head. It's rare that he does this, but I thought it was very nice to see.

After reading more autism boards last night and seeing that other moms have their ASD kids in multiple therapies despite school, I decided that Nikko really does need more help outside of preschool to get his life skills going. I made the effort this morning to call and leave a message for Maria with MGB Services and she called me back. She got my email but didn't respond to it last week. Must be very busy over there, is how I rationalized it. We went ahead and set up an appointment for this Wednesday for her to come over and evaluate Nikko to see what services he can do and how to set up a team for him. It will probably get moving after the holidays. Everyone is an independent contractor, and this helps to keep costs down for everyone. She is aware that many, many people pay out of pocket, which is why keeping costs down is important to them. It will cost $80 for her to come out, but she's not doing a full intake since we've already met and been evaluated by Linda Hoeck. She said we're lucky to have a coordinator through the school already, because this service could cost about $160/hr. Her fee is normally $50/hr. The price for a senior person is $15/hr and for the line people (assuming these are the day-to-day people for Nikko, likely special education students and/or others obtaining degrees in these fields) their hourly rate is about $10/hr. Compared to other companies, these fees truly are a good deal. Maria also told me that a lot of what they do is Verbal Behavior/ABA, which is something I read about that sounded very good. Nikko might do well because it helps kids that are nonverbal.

When I told Denis what's going on, it occurred to me that we will have to stop Ronin's speech therapy so we can allot that $100/month toward 10 hours of ABA therapy for Nikko. It made sense to Denis, so I went ahead and called Mary Leonard our coordinator. I also spoke to Pete and he wants to do a final evaluation on Ronin so he can do exit paperwork. That's fine, even if it did cost us $25 but Pete mentioned that there's something about cancelling services before the 15th, maybe we won't be billed for December at that rate. Don't know. Don't really care, just want to make sure it's all done by January.

In the early evening we had Nemo on TV when Nikko came up to me with the Cars DVD. He shoved it in my hands and I put it aside. He put it back in my hands and I asked him what he wanted. He kept pushing it to me, Ronin chirping in the background that he wanted to watch Cars, but I kept asking Nikko what he wanted. He signed Car, and then while watching my mouth he said, "CAR." Okey dokey! I certainly put it on after that. Then during dinner he was finished with his bowl of mac cheese and wanted more. I asked him what he wanted and he signed Cheese. I knelt down and said Cheese twice to him. He watched my mouth and said, "Cheees." No problemo! Instant mac cheese for him!

Star / The Christmas Tree

It's been a quiet day. We broke out the train tracks from last year and they were a source of conflict with Ronin. He was much better after taking a long nap in the afternoon. Nikko was sitting around so I took out some shapes from a big shape-matching game and spread them out on the trampoline. Ronin came along and I was naming the objects in the shapes, lining them up per shape, and then trying to make the sounds more pronounced so Nikko could say them. The one shape that elicited a sound from Nikko was a STAR. He repeated that and I praised him. Then we all cleaned up the shapes by putting them back in the bag with a "Bye bye, [insert object]!" That was my developmental/speech therapist investment for the day. Another sound that I got from him today were Tick and GULL for Tickle, as well as Pop for Popcorn.

Denis helped me put a two-foot tall fiber optic christmas tree in the corner behind the couch. Besides the xmas lights on the ceiling, there really wasn't anything festive enough for me to say it was the holidays. It illuminates nicely, but the motor seemed to get hot after two hours so I won't be able to leave it on all day. Maybe I'll get a few safe decorations into it so it doesn't look so bare during the day. The kids seemed to like it. Overall, they seem to dig the xmas lights in the living room, as if we're under the sea while watching Nemo. They were all grooving to The Wiggles after dinner, such a cute sight. Bath and bedtime were smooth, but Audrey was coughing up pretty hard around midnight. Nikko actually fell asleep for a 1.5 hour nap today, thank goodness. Tomorrow we don't have anywhere specific to go, but I'll see if there's anywhere we can venture that's not crowded like crazy. I thought about going to Woodfield Mall, but honestly it would be hard for me to do it alone. Watching Audrey is tough since she's toddling, and someone could easily come up and snatch Ronin since he's so light. If all else fails, we'll end up in the basement, probably.

Shark / Vitamin

11:46a - While dressing Nikko for school, Denis was reading aloud from Nikko's Nemo library book. He was mimicking the movie and chanted, "Shark bait! Shark bait!" Nikko started saying, "Shah, shah," while I put on his clothes. If you weren't paying attention it could have easily been missed, but I noticed he did it after each time Denis said Shark. That's cool. On his progress report from school, Kathy wrote that he was saying "Kuh" for car when prompted. She was also saying "Go" when it came to opening doors. I think we're both pushing for more language from Nikko.

2:06p - HOLY SPEECH THERAPY, ROBIN! I just took 50 minutes with Nikko trying to get him to say Vitamin or a derivation thereof. We started around 1:06 and he kept pointing up to the cabinet for the jar of vitamins. He wouldn't say it. He tantrumed, threw himself on the ground, beat his ears with his hands, spun around and kept landing on his knees. At first I pushed for the entire word, but 10 minutes and I tried for MIN. Any kind of Min. He cried so hard, then stopped at a few points. The last point he simmered down and I sat him in my lap. Other times he tried to climb into my lap and I wouldn't let him. I showed him some Chips, and got him to say "Chp", so I knew he was capable of imitating a word upon request. At the end I tried to coax him and he seemed to be so tired from fighting it. FINALLY, at 1:50p, he said, "Mmmm." It was short, but it sounded like the beginning of Min, so I gave it to him with lots of praise. I couldn't get another sound, so I had to end the session. Poor Audrey sat in the high chair and had to wait, me throwing her some cereal with her bottle of milk because I couldn't give her a proper lunch. Ronin wanted vitamins too, but I had to shoo him away for a while. I am TIRED from being a speech therapist for almost an hour. I don't even know if my tactics were successful (well, he said an "M" sound so that's technically successful) or correct in the speech therapy world. This is exhausting!

11:44p - Nikko was pretty calm the rest of the night. He watched lots of Wiggles with us. He even shows an interest in the brick block road I made for Ronin, so I had to make another one for Nikko (since Ronin was getting territorial and shoving Nikko away just for gawking at Ronin's car tunnel). Ronin turns everything into a physical squabble. He starts pushing and shoving Nikko, who will turn over on his tummy in defense, and even land on top of Nikko. I guess it's the small dog syndrome. I'm not sure how to curb Ronin's aggressiveness except to haul him away, distract him, or be firm and tell him IT'S NOT NICE to do whatever he just did to Nikko, and to Audrey. When Audrey cried the last time Ronin shoved her, I showed him that she was sad, that he hurt her, and he said he was sorry to Audrey and gave her a hug. OK, fine, but that didn't solve the problem later at night when she was getting into his car tunnel business again. It's a vicious cycle and it wears me out to be the referee. I truly don't mind running away after the kids are in bed because I need to get desensitized from kid stuff for a few hours.

Library book / Potty training thoughts

12:03p - Nikko hasn't liked wearing any hats or gloves in the past. Two days ago I got Nikko to wear a hat that had some ear flaps. Unfortunately the "cap" is on the small side, and Nikko actually likes wearing it. He tilts it, however, so that one ear flap covers his left eyebrow. I think he envisions it as a hat brim. I'll have to look for a hat with a brim to see if that's truly the case. Today the temps are in the 30's so I thought I'd try putting out some fleece mittens. I put them on the table for him to explore, and somehow he got fixated on wearing ONE glove, the left one. I couldn't get him to accept wearing the right one, so I had to send him off to school with one red glove and the other cradling Nemo and the burp cloth. When he came home, I saw a library book in the backpack. They made a trip to the Westbrook library, something they'll do every Wednesday. It's a book of Nemo. I was fine with seeing it, until it was time to serve him lunch. He was having pizza and Nikko wouldn't let go of that book. It made me extremely paranoid because I had to keep an eye on him, wiping his hands every time they got red sauce on them. Now I understand why they sent home a permission slip as to whether or not the parents would accept responsibility regarding checking out books. He's going to be so attached to that book that it could possibly get ratty and torn. Thankfully it's a hardcover book, but I hope it doesn't get too beat up. Uh-oh... the oven pre-heating timer just went off and Nikko put his hands over his ears, crying really hard as if the sound hurt him or it sparked a really bad memory. I gave him hugs and back strokes, but in the end I offered him Signing Time or Nemo on TV. Signing Time was hastily agreed upon with his hands pedaling furiously before putting them back over his ears. He has not triggered like this against an oven sound before so I wonder if this will be an isolated incident. Hope so.

In yesterday's Chicago Tribune in the Chicagoland Extra section there was an article about a Jewish boy who had autism and was completing his bar mitzvah. It was an interesting look on a Jewish based special needs program and raising an autistic son to achieve bar mitzvah even through a learning disability. They have to memorize and read from the Torah, and some kids use PECs pictures and schedules to understand the cermony of it, even if the real meaning is lost on them. A person who runs the program, Abbie Weisberg, said, "We don't say 'no,' we say 'how.'" I thought that quote was so poignant and one I'd take upon myself to say it's a favorite.

12:44p - This evening I went to Target after the kids went to bed. My plan was to go grocery shopping after Target closed at 11p. I bought diaper genie refills and a bunch of underwear for the boys. I am really trying to mentally psych myself into the potty training mode. I AM DREADING IT. I have two kids to train at the same time, and need a 100% success rate with Ronin. I have an indefinite success rate with Nikko, but hopes he will catch on. I dread the cleanup I'll have to do when they have accidents. Ronin already refuses to sit on the toilet because we started with him standing up. I must have screwed up on that one. Nikko seems tolerate to sit, probably because they do that at school, too. But he hasn't peed on the toilet sitting down yet. I'll think about this later... it's stressing me out. Anyway, I lost my grocery list at Target, five minutes before close. I checked all my pockets, then starting running back down aisles that I had visited, all to no avail. I couldn't recall from memory what I needed from the grocery. Defeated, and with the Target cashier hurrying me out the door, I went home. Boooooo.

Ugh, I forgot to mention... I'm still working on Tickle with Nikko. I got a "Tick" out of him today, but he's mixing it up with "Chp-COM" again. Another sound I heard from him today was "Ju" for juice. I'll try that word again tomorrow. I will keep pushing something for him to vocalize every day, probably at every meal if I can. It's kind of addicting, trying to get him to say more and actually hear a sound close to it come out. I think it started with "Pop," which he says when prompted by me when he's signing for Popcorn [corn puffs].

Trying for Tickle

5:06p - In Nikko's backpack I sent back some family pictures of us per their request for a unit on family. The last time they had the kitchen play area set up as a home, Nikko apparently went ballistic when he discovered that the boxes of crackers and pop-tarts in the kitchen were empty. I think he recovered the next day, but I wonder if the set-up will upset him again. It looks like there were cheese and crackers for their snack, but Nikko still came home with an appetite and ate some grapes on his own as well. The afternoon was low-key but I did try to work on the word Tickle with Nikko. It's something that he comes up to me with as a direct request. He signs More, then I ask him "More what?" then he signs Tickle. I tried to model the word for him today and I did meet some resistance because he knew I was trying to make him work. He didn't throw himself on the ground in a tantrum and I kept pressing him to say something. Once or twice he did squeak out a "TUH" or an "ICK" but they were both muddy. Still, I gave him tickles for trying, and that's really all I can ask for at this stage: for him to try.

Back to school

Nikko went back to school today and he did well in OT according to Mrs. I on the report. I have to remember to pack him a change of clothes because he apparently spilled water on his outfit; when I saw him sitting on the bus I noticed he was wearing sweatpants and wondered if he leaked. Next week the school is supposed to be administering the H1N1 flu vaccine, but I haven't seen any permission slips in Nikko's backpack. Yet. I emailed the teachers today and will see if his class is going to get it. Nikko's mood was better today, I'd say. The last two days of Thanksgiving break, Nikko seemed to end up under the kitchen table, bawling or being emotional and I couldn't figure out why. Perhaps he was upset that he wasn't going to school, or just had enough of being in the house. I can totally understand that.

After Nikko came home from school he was pretty hungry so I started getting lunch out to him. The other two (Audrey didn't fall asleep in her crib at 11a. I think she wants a later naptime, thanks to the Thanksgiving break and us slacking on her 11a naps) wanted to eat so I fed everyone and then put the little ones down for a nap at 1pm. Ronin didn't want to sleep and cried for 45 minutes, but eventually succumbed. When everyone was awake around 3p I gave them snack. Nikko didn't take a nap, as much as I tried to coax him to. I scrambled to get jeans on everyone and take them outside before it got dark. We didn't get outside until 4-ish, which was fine because by 5pm it was getting dark enough that I couldn't make out the kids' faces very well. We ran around the driveway, I got them to go down the slide, we kicked a volleyball around like a soccer ball, and we just got some fresh air. The rest of the evening was ok. Nikko wanted to watch Signing Time, but later I had to switch it to the Wiggles to keep things upbeat and to prevent him from falling asleep. They're sleeping now, but I still have to fold kid laundry. Denis might come home tomorrow evening from his business trip. It will be nice to have his company around; it's been pretty quiet and lonely after the kids are in bed. I'm busy cleaning up, being on FB, online shopping for xmas, but it's not the same as having him in the house.

Lights ON

2:47p - For the past few days Nikko has gotten into the habit of stepping up on his booster chair at the dinner table and flicking the light switch above his head OFF. This turns off the (ghastly fluorescent but necessary) overhead light and the room is half dark. Ronin doesn't like it and it gets me dizzy, but when I told him to turn LIGHTS ON, Nikko wouldn't do it. I'd turn them on and then physically sit him back down, laughing with him as if it were a joke because he'd wriggle out of my hands and flick it back on again. It's been a constant power struggle. When Ronin objects, I tell him that Nikko just won't stop turning it off and I can't seem to do anything about it. I felt powerless.

Then a thought occurred to me. What would an ABA therapist do? Well, I reasoned, the therapist would probably say to give a positive reinforcer to Nikko each time he turned the light on instead of off. That sounds good, but I didn't want to reward Nikko with a fruit snack or candy every time he turned the light ON. He would soon just want the food all the time. What if the reinforcer wasn't food, but was praise instead? Not tangible, but still a reward for positive behavior. So I walked over to the light switch and turned it on. Nikko scrambled up and turned it off. I said, "Awww, noooo Nikko." Then he flipped it on. Immediately I said, "YEA NIKKO! WOW! YOU TURNED THE LIGHT ON! WHAT A GOOD JOB! YEA!" I heard Ronin nearby also praise Nikko, "Yea!" Nikko looked at me like I was going nuts. Curious, he flipped the switch off and I said, "Awwww, nooooo Nikko, Light ON." He flipped it on and again I heaped on the praise, followed by a big hug and an offer of grapes. He seemed to get it, that lights ON was followed by praise and hugs, and maybe even grapes. So guess what? The lights are ON, right now. Yea!

1:15am- The rest of the day was ok for Nikko. He almost fell asleep this afternoon but I had to wake him up to change his diaper because he was full, and sure to leak. He didn't go back to sleep, and my plans to take the kids outside were ruined by nap timing. Tomorrow is supposed to be the last 50 degree weather day so I'll try my hardest to take the kids out after lunch. We could play outside, but I might sneak in an errand if need be. Nikko seemed very specific in what he wanted to watch on TV today. After breakfast we spent time watching The Wiggles DVDs and On Demand. I turned the TV off during lunch, and then after lunch Nikko came up to me and pulled me to the TV. When asked what he wanted to watch he circled his hands in front of him and I thought it was to the song The Wheels on the Bus. But after looking at his sign, I said, "Oh, you want to watch Signing Time?" Bingo. He was satisfied with what I said and retreated to the couch to wait for me to put in the DVD. Much later in the day he signed Fish, which is for Nemo. Before dinner I put up Christmas lights, stringing them around the perimeter of the ceiling. In the past, I've lined the windows with the lights, but last year the boys were playing in the window often and tugging at the lights. With Ronin's recent destructive behavior I really don't want to deal with tape and lights dangling from the window sill, so I put the lights high up near the ceiling. I could have put them outside, but then we wouldn't be able to see them. By putting them in the living room, the kids can enjoy the lights and maybe not have to turn on the regular incandescent lights, which are very expensive and will probably blow up soon since they burn for a long time when Nikko is at the light switch. It looks pretty cool. I may do the kitchen windows and/or the "dining room" area, too, just to be festive. There's no room in the living room for a real tree, so I hope to put a little fiber optic tree up. I might put it in the corner of the sofa, since there technically is a space, but need to put some kind of table support there.

Nikko goes back to preschool tomorrow. I'll bet that will make him happy! I should really go to bed soon since I have to wake up by 7a to make sure Nikko gets up.