We didn't accomplish anything I expected to today, but what did happen was that my sister Atz, her husband Dennis and their older girl Rory came over with their dog Grant to have a playdate with our dog Lego. Dennis was being outnumbered by all the estrogen in his family about taking in Lego, especially now that Ronin tested positive for dog allergies. Lego and Grant got along; Grant was furiously trying to get Lego to play with him, and Lego looked mildly irritated as if Grant was a fly. But except for the initial baring of teeth and barking, the two seemed to be able to coexist. We took Nikko outside with us while the dogs circled the backyard. Nikko was getting agitated with me for not playing with him, or for standing off to the side while he was trying to get my attention. I was blocking a gap in the fence so that Lego wouldn't run out of our backyard. When I finally did move around with Nikko, he started pushing me around as if he wanted me to walk in a specific direction but he didn't know where. I was mildly irritated at Nikko because he started pushing Atz around. I thought she was standing in his imaginary pathway, but when she got out of the way and he still pushed her I started reprimanding him and telling him to be nice. Nikko is starting to exert more physicality on the people around him, and of course I worry about that in respect to Ronin and Audrey.
During snack time I gave the kids Jell-O. I even signed "J-O" for Nikko so he could learn a sign for it. The bad part is that he liked forking it into his mouth so much that he wanted more. And more. This manifested itself into a big tantrum when it came time for dinner. He saw it in the glass cake pan in the fridge, so he knew where it was and how to sign for it. I didn't want him to eat it for dinner, rather after dinner would be better. But he started acting up and whining for it, pushing me around and getting me angry. I had a plate of nuggets and ravioli pasta for him, and decided to put some Jell-O on the plate too so that he could have a little, but still eat the other things. It was a big point of debate because it looked like I was giving to him every time he tantrumed for something. I saw it as giving him a little, but still putting out the other foods so that he would eat more than just the Jell-O. I think both ways were flawed, but I am at my wits end trying to figure out the best way to handle Nikko in this kind of situation, where he acts up and acts out over something he really wants but shouldn't have at that time. At Nikko's preschool, when I asked if they ever put kids in timeout they said no, they use distraction instead. Well, dinnertime ended up in a distraction to get Nikko to stop asking for Jell-O. I had to make him some organic mac & cheese, which is something he likes, in order to replace the Jell-O craving. It worked, but I'm sure he'll be looking for Jell-O tomorrow and a battle will ensue again. This is similar to his wanting of cookies. It's a hard battle to fight with him, and I'm trying to figure out how to make a learning experience from it. Is it simply better to tell him NO when he wants something he can't have and then ignore him? I've been acknowledging that he wants something and tell him he can't have it now, but he can have it later. I don't think he understands the concept of "later", so how is my explaining it going to help him or teach him something? By ignoring him and not telling him NO seems rude to me, because he is trying to communicate a want and should be acknowledged for it, even if it is a NO. So once I say NO, is the best way to enforce it just to keep moving about my business, or keep explaining why it's NO?
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Waiting on the bus
This morning when I got on the bus to pick up Nikko, I saw him smile at me from the window and when I approached he was excited. I looked down and saw his shoes on the floor, his socked feet chillin' on the seat. I asked Mrs. Beyer why his shoes were on the floor and she said he got upset so he kicked them off. As I put them on and unclasped Nikko I asked her if Nikko got upset before he got on the bus (attributing it to something that happened in the school) or after he was on the bus. She said that after all the kids are boarded, sometimes they have to wait. If they wait for a while then Nikko starts getting agitated so she gives him his burp cloth.
OH.
So that's why on some days he'll be holding his burp cloth when he gets off the bus and other days it will be in his bag. Actually, I noticed that for the past two weeks or so he's been holding it when he gets off the bus. This is a very true observation of Nikko, that he gets impatient if things don't get rolling soon when he's on a vehicle. He gets that way in the Pilot, if he's not watching a DVD. Mrs. Beyer had to move Fiona, the little girl who sat next to him, because I think in his agitated state he was flailing his arms and she was in danger. The twins' mom remarked that this was probably a bad thing to do because if they remove everyone around Nikko when he acts up, then the kids will start to leave him alone and that would be bad for his socialization. The thought of it all makes me really sad. How can we work on Nikko's patience? It's kind of a complex pot. He seems really easygoing at home, watches tv a lot and doesn't seem demanding unless it's something that he really wants (cookie, corn pops, bread & butter). Well, it's a topic I'll have to revisit soon.
The Penepacker girls came over after lunch so that Rory could get some practice changing diapers because she's going to babysit some kids down the street. I was more than happy to hand over Audrey and Ronin for practice. Nikko, however, was in my care since he had a #2 and I didn't want to torture Rory. Nikko seemed happy to have their company and was doing the Nikko dance in the living room. Allie and Sabrina had a doll that Ronin seemed to take an interest in. It reminded me of the little dolls that Pete had used during therapy, where Ronin fed them a bottle and brushed their hair. The girls found another doll in the car and left it for us to borrow. Nikko looked at the doll curiously and put it up to his lips as if to kiss it. He's done that before with a little teddy bear that came with a happy meal. I put up the doll's hand for a high five and he responded in kind. But the doll interaction was short-lived and the doll was soon abandoned. I'll see if I can get the boys to play with it again over the weekend.
Our last activity was to go to the in-laws for dinner. I put in Finding Nemo on the way down, and thankfully Nikko fell asleep 15 minutes into the ride. He continued to sleep a little bit more after we arrived, but I had to wake him up to eat or he wouldn't fall asleep well later when we got home. He was very attached to me during the evening, but I left him in Denis' care when it came to dealing with dessert. Nikko was tantruming because he wanted more cake, but it was truly a lot of sugar and we had to put a limit to it. I think it made everyone uncomfortable to see/hear him tantrum so loud; I felt some uneasiness as if they didn't know what to say, because they didn't want him to keep crying. I decided it was better if we ushered Nikko out of the kitchen so that the temptation of cake wasn't in his face. He protested when I moved rooms, but it was for the best. Later in the evening I think Ronin and Nikko showed some interest in some plastic fruit my mother-in-law had on the dining room table. Denis told me that Nikko opened his mouth as if to eat the plastic grapes. Funny, but we'll have to get them some real fruit over the weekend.
OH.
So that's why on some days he'll be holding his burp cloth when he gets off the bus and other days it will be in his bag. Actually, I noticed that for the past two weeks or so he's been holding it when he gets off the bus. This is a very true observation of Nikko, that he gets impatient if things don't get rolling soon when he's on a vehicle. He gets that way in the Pilot, if he's not watching a DVD. Mrs. Beyer had to move Fiona, the little girl who sat next to him, because I think in his agitated state he was flailing his arms and she was in danger. The twins' mom remarked that this was probably a bad thing to do because if they remove everyone around Nikko when he acts up, then the kids will start to leave him alone and that would be bad for his socialization. The thought of it all makes me really sad. How can we work on Nikko's patience? It's kind of a complex pot. He seems really easygoing at home, watches tv a lot and doesn't seem demanding unless it's something that he really wants (cookie, corn pops, bread & butter). Well, it's a topic I'll have to revisit soon.
The Penepacker girls came over after lunch so that Rory could get some practice changing diapers because she's going to babysit some kids down the street. I was more than happy to hand over Audrey and Ronin for practice. Nikko, however, was in my care since he had a #2 and I didn't want to torture Rory. Nikko seemed happy to have their company and was doing the Nikko dance in the living room. Allie and Sabrina had a doll that Ronin seemed to take an interest in. It reminded me of the little dolls that Pete had used during therapy, where Ronin fed them a bottle and brushed their hair. The girls found another doll in the car and left it for us to borrow. Nikko looked at the doll curiously and put it up to his lips as if to kiss it. He's done that before with a little teddy bear that came with a happy meal. I put up the doll's hand for a high five and he responded in kind. But the doll interaction was short-lived and the doll was soon abandoned. I'll see if I can get the boys to play with it again over the weekend.
Our last activity was to go to the in-laws for dinner. I put in Finding Nemo on the way down, and thankfully Nikko fell asleep 15 minutes into the ride. He continued to sleep a little bit more after we arrived, but I had to wake him up to eat or he wouldn't fall asleep well later when we got home. He was very attached to me during the evening, but I left him in Denis' care when it came to dealing with dessert. Nikko was tantruming because he wanted more cake, but it was truly a lot of sugar and we had to put a limit to it. I think it made everyone uncomfortable to see/hear him tantrum so loud; I felt some uneasiness as if they didn't know what to say, because they didn't want him to keep crying. I decided it was better if we ushered Nikko out of the kitchen so that the temptation of cake wasn't in his face. He protested when I moved rooms, but it was for the best. Later in the evening I think Ronin and Nikko showed some interest in some plastic fruit my mother-in-law had on the dining room table. Denis told me that Nikko opened his mouth as if to eat the plastic grapes. Funny, but we'll have to get them some real fruit over the weekend.
Friday, October 23, 2009
Ronin's evals
Today was not supposed to be about Nikko; it was a double therapy day for Ronin. But Nikko and I were together for a lot of the day because I had to keep him away from the therapists. Luckily, Audrey went down for a nap during each session. It was during her waking hours that she was such a crab.
The OT arrived late due to rain and she lived in LaGrange. Ronin's eval went smoothly. He was apprehensive of her at first but soon became curious of her. He didn't like it when she handled him to move him from place to place, but Ronin showed his helpful side today and that made me happy. Result: normal-acting 2 yr old. DUH. Totally wasn't stimming as if he had a delay, and the transitioning is a behavioral problem, not a developmental one, and can be worked on. Nikko was curious about the OT's toys at first, and she let Nikko play with some blocks while I made sure Nikko wasn't being intrusive. But he kept coming back to my lap and was covering his ears the whole time. He even started putting his face in my face, to the point where he seemed to be trying to snuff me out while I was talking. I realized that maybe I was talking so much that he didn't want to hear ME talk anymore. Well, Nikko didn't have a choice except to lay in my lap and endure my voice. After the OT left we had lunch, and I put Ronin down for an earlier nap so it wouldn't conflict with his 3pm speech makeup session. Pete came over and I told him everything the OT told me, kindly. Nikko hadn't seen Pete for a few months so he was curious about Pete's toys. I had to distract Nikko, haul him away from them, and basically put Nikko in the kitchen with cookies, corn puffs, and finally watching the laptop with a Cars clip. Whereas the OT didn't mind if Nikko inspected her things, Pete was not as giving and took whatever Nikko tried to pick up. That was a signal to me that Pete preferred that Nikko leave the room. Grrr. Maybe Ronin would have said more phrases if he were interacting with Nikko; it's not like Pete was doing anything complicated to draw more words out of Ronin. Even after all the therapy today, Nikko didn't tire enough to take a nap. Therefore, he was sleepy at bedtime. He has school tomorrow and I think that will make him feel relieved. Nikko didn't seem to have a great appetite during his meals today or yesterday for that matter. At least not for chicken nuggets. He's eating grapes and peaches, however, so the fruit intake is great as long as I have some on hand. It's exhausting giving "complete" meals to three kids who have different dietary needs. :P
The OT arrived late due to rain and she lived in LaGrange. Ronin's eval went smoothly. He was apprehensive of her at first but soon became curious of her. He didn't like it when she handled him to move him from place to place, but Ronin showed his helpful side today and that made me happy. Result: normal-acting 2 yr old. DUH. Totally wasn't stimming as if he had a delay, and the transitioning is a behavioral problem, not a developmental one, and can be worked on. Nikko was curious about the OT's toys at first, and she let Nikko play with some blocks while I made sure Nikko wasn't being intrusive. But he kept coming back to my lap and was covering his ears the whole time. He even started putting his face in my face, to the point where he seemed to be trying to snuff me out while I was talking. I realized that maybe I was talking so much that he didn't want to hear ME talk anymore. Well, Nikko didn't have a choice except to lay in my lap and endure my voice. After the OT left we had lunch, and I put Ronin down for an earlier nap so it wouldn't conflict with his 3pm speech makeup session. Pete came over and I told him everything the OT told me, kindly. Nikko hadn't seen Pete for a few months so he was curious about Pete's toys. I had to distract Nikko, haul him away from them, and basically put Nikko in the kitchen with cookies, corn puffs, and finally watching the laptop with a Cars clip. Whereas the OT didn't mind if Nikko inspected her things, Pete was not as giving and took whatever Nikko tried to pick up. That was a signal to me that Pete preferred that Nikko leave the room. Grrr. Maybe Ronin would have said more phrases if he were interacting with Nikko; it's not like Pete was doing anything complicated to draw more words out of Ronin. Even after all the therapy today, Nikko didn't tire enough to take a nap. Therefore, he was sleepy at bedtime. He has school tomorrow and I think that will make him feel relieved. Nikko didn't seem to have a great appetite during his meals today or yesterday for that matter. At least not for chicken nuggets. He's eating grapes and peaches, however, so the fruit intake is great as long as I have some on hand. It's exhausting giving "complete" meals to three kids who have different dietary needs. :P
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Rec Plexx adventure
Must have been a calm day at school because Kathy (speech teacher) wasn't there today. Still, his progress report looked productive. He did some apple star story, worked on a tissue paper apple, played outside and did an apple taste graph. Fall is definitely in the air. I expect to get more apple construction paper projects soon.
After lunch I rallied the troops together to go meet up with Jovy, Anna and Max at the Rec Plexx. The boys were very excited about it and I think Jovy was, too. They wore socks in the ball pit, but when Ronin got stuck in a side-ball pit because his feet were too slippery to scale the walls to get out, I had to crawl through the pit to take his socks off. Then I let him try to scale the walls on his own, which he did. Jovy was brave enough to climb up the multi-level nets to a really tall slide tunnel, and then the boys followed her. Ronin smartly used his hands and feet to slow down his speed in the tunnel. Nikko didn't anticipate the speed and looked a little scared when he came out, but I encouraged him to try it again and he did. Soon both boys mastered it and resumed crawling all over the apparatus.
A lady and her son came in the room and I recognized her to be Venus, the co-founder of the Parent Support group for District 57. Her son, Colin, is Nikko's classmate. She also has a 7 yr old son Aiden who is autistic. I acknowledged her and we had a nice conversation about our kids as well as the group. I told her about our observation with Linda Hoeck and she was supportive in our efforts to find outside services. Venus mentioned Aiden's social skills group at Half Dreams, which is something I should consider for Nikko in the future. Not sure at what age it would be helpful to him, but I'll keep it in mind. We also discussed how Blue Cross Blue Shield didn't cover anything for her either since her husband works for a bank, so everything is out of pocket for her. The speech therapy is partly covered. She also agreed that it takes a lot of effort to coordinate all the therapies. It was reassuring to talk to her, but I hope I didn't look too desperate for feedback. We snacked the kids in the outer rooms at the Rec Plexx, and as I anticipated, all kids fell asleep on the way home. They ran around a lot and had fun. Audrey was walking around and wasn't really supposed to go into the ball pit because she's so little and would get crushed if someone jumped on top of her, but when I had to rescue Ronin I did put her in the pit near Anna. Audrey seemed to like it, too. She is very physical and wants to rough and tumble with the boys if she's able. At home, she just started walking last week and this week she wants to jump on the trampoline like the boys. Sheesh!
Tomorrow Nikko doesn't have preschool due to some school-wide student improvement day. Ronin has an OT evaluation in the morning, and his speech therapy was moved to 3pm. It will be a challenge to have all the kids in the room with the therapists around, but they are probably used to that. I'll have to work hard to keep Audrey out of the mix.
After lunch I rallied the troops together to go meet up with Jovy, Anna and Max at the Rec Plexx. The boys were very excited about it and I think Jovy was, too. They wore socks in the ball pit, but when Ronin got stuck in a side-ball pit because his feet were too slippery to scale the walls to get out, I had to crawl through the pit to take his socks off. Then I let him try to scale the walls on his own, which he did. Jovy was brave enough to climb up the multi-level nets to a really tall slide tunnel, and then the boys followed her. Ronin smartly used his hands and feet to slow down his speed in the tunnel. Nikko didn't anticipate the speed and looked a little scared when he came out, but I encouraged him to try it again and he did. Soon both boys mastered it and resumed crawling all over the apparatus.
A lady and her son came in the room and I recognized her to be Venus, the co-founder of the Parent Support group for District 57. Her son, Colin, is Nikko's classmate. She also has a 7 yr old son Aiden who is autistic. I acknowledged her and we had a nice conversation about our kids as well as the group. I told her about our observation with Linda Hoeck and she was supportive in our efforts to find outside services. Venus mentioned Aiden's social skills group at Half Dreams, which is something I should consider for Nikko in the future. Not sure at what age it would be helpful to him, but I'll keep it in mind. We also discussed how Blue Cross Blue Shield didn't cover anything for her either since her husband works for a bank, so everything is out of pocket for her. The speech therapy is partly covered. She also agreed that it takes a lot of effort to coordinate all the therapies. It was reassuring to talk to her, but I hope I didn't look too desperate for feedback. We snacked the kids in the outer rooms at the Rec Plexx, and as I anticipated, all kids fell asleep on the way home. They ran around a lot and had fun. Audrey was walking around and wasn't really supposed to go into the ball pit because she's so little and would get crushed if someone jumped on top of her, but when I had to rescue Ronin I did put her in the pit near Anna. Audrey seemed to like it, too. She is very physical and wants to rough and tumble with the boys if she's able. At home, she just started walking last week and this week she wants to jump on the trampoline like the boys. Sheesh!
Tomorrow Nikko doesn't have preschool due to some school-wide student improvement day. Ronin has an OT evaluation in the morning, and his speech therapy was moved to 3pm. It will be a challenge to have all the kids in the room with the therapists around, but they are probably used to that. I'll have to work hard to keep Audrey out of the mix.
Testing sans Oreos
Nikko came home from preschool in a good mood, but once we got inside and got settled before lunch he became really agitated with me. I signed that we should eat and he agreed, but he didn't seem happy with me while I heated up his mac cheese. He was flinging himself to the ground at my feet, and when I stood with his food waiting for him to sit down he flat out refused with a vengance. I had to set his food down and give him deep pressure strokes on his arms, legs and back. It didn't seem to calm him at first, and I don't know if it even helped this time around, but after sitting up between tantrums he regained his composure. I was able to encourage him to sit down and start eating. These tantrums are coming a lot more frequently. The bad thing is that I don't understand what he is trying to tell me when he has them. My success rate in meeting his need is probably 60/40.
Nikko's progress report from school looked ok. I think he has OT on Tuesdays, as Mrs. I wrote the following:
Continuing with heavy work and movement prep activities - wheelbarrel walk, trampoline, big ball work. Then worked at table with buttons, bead strining and dot art. Nikko really enjoys using the dot art markers.
I also got an email back saying the autism coordinator observed Nikko today and was impressed with his progress. She wants to meet on the 29th, the day of the sign language class. I said that would be fine as long as I could take the kids, since Denis is at work. It's fine with them. I'm looking forward to this meeting, it's gonna have a lot of stuff going on!
We went to mom's house this afternoon. Nikko fell asleep in the car and continued to sleep on mom's couch when I brought him inside. He must have been super tired! He woke up later and unfortunately acted as if he didn't like his surroundings. He kept covering his ears again. After mom's house I had to take everyone to Costco for chicken nuggets. We were totally out! This time I didn't take along the Oreos because I didn't want to reward Nikko for crying for them. He looked at the food bag immediately and wanted a cookie (I know I must have taught him that), but I told him I didn't have any at all and there's nothing I could do about it. I even showed him the bag, with juices and crackers. He opted for crackers, but it wasn't ideal for him. We escaped without a full blown meltdown, but he and Ronin were getting cranky because it was dinnertime. I wanted to avoid going to the store during this time, but I had put it off for various reasons over the week. We put the kids to bed later, but for some reason Nikko had opened the door and walked out of the room. I was surprised because I thought I had put the safety knob on his door. I walked him back into bed, noting that Ronin already fell asleep. Nikko seemed wide awake, but he didn't resist me tucking him back in, and didn't come out again. Tomorrow we're supposed to go to the Rec Plex ball pit. I know the boys will have fun, but I am a little worried that Audrey will not be satisfied walking around the perimeter. She's too small to go into the ball pit, sorry. She'd get crushed. We're supposed to meet Jovy there, too.
Nikko's progress report from school looked ok. I think he has OT on Tuesdays, as Mrs. I wrote the following:
Continuing with heavy work and movement prep activities - wheelbarrel walk, trampoline, big ball work. Then worked at table with buttons, bead strining and dot art. Nikko really enjoys using the dot art markers.
I also got an email back saying the autism coordinator observed Nikko today and was impressed with his progress. She wants to meet on the 29th, the day of the sign language class. I said that would be fine as long as I could take the kids, since Denis is at work. It's fine with them. I'm looking forward to this meeting, it's gonna have a lot of stuff going on!
We went to mom's house this afternoon. Nikko fell asleep in the car and continued to sleep on mom's couch when I brought him inside. He must have been super tired! He woke up later and unfortunately acted as if he didn't like his surroundings. He kept covering his ears again. After mom's house I had to take everyone to Costco for chicken nuggets. We were totally out! This time I didn't take along the Oreos because I didn't want to reward Nikko for crying for them. He looked at the food bag immediately and wanted a cookie (I know I must have taught him that), but I told him I didn't have any at all and there's nothing I could do about it. I even showed him the bag, with juices and crackers. He opted for crackers, but it wasn't ideal for him. We escaped without a full blown meltdown, but he and Ronin were getting cranky because it was dinnertime. I wanted to avoid going to the store during this time, but I had put it off for various reasons over the week. We put the kids to bed later, but for some reason Nikko had opened the door and walked out of the room. I was surprised because I thought I had put the safety knob on his door. I walked him back into bed, noting that Ronin already fell asleep. Nikko seemed wide awake, but he didn't resist me tucking him back in, and didn't come out again. Tomorrow we're supposed to go to the Rec Plex ball pit. I know the boys will have fun, but I am a little worried that Audrey will not be satisfied walking around the perimeter. She's too small to go into the ball pit, sorry. She'd get crushed. We're supposed to meet Jovy there, too.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Ziplocs and head butts
During the lunchtime hours I went to a brunch at Meson Sabika in Naperville with a few of the girls from my group. It was nice to hang with them and talk about a variety of things. Rhonda, the McD's playdate I had a few months ago, will be leaving in two weeks for Oklahoma (she's in the armed forces) and her three kiddos will be in their dad's care. He'll be fine, he's military too. I heard he puts each of the kid's clothes for the day in a ziploc bag, for each day of the week. Reminds me of my diaper bag and how I put the #6's, #5's, and #4 diapers in their own ziploc (credit Atz for this idea). It definitely helps in a pinch, and makes it easier for another person to change a diaper. That rarely happens, but if it did....
Since I was gone, I didn't see the kids for the middle of the day. Both boys had huge meltdowns when I left. Nikko could see that I had my purse ready, and when I put on my coat he started whining and crying. Denis had to hold him back, and I closed the door before Ronin got to it. When I came back 3.5 hours later, Ronin and Audrey were all smiles. Nikko was napping on the living room floor. Over the past week I noticed that Nikko hadn't been covering his ears as often as he had in the past. But tonight I noticed that he did it a little, at random things in the house, and definitely at me when he was upset that I wasn't understanding what he wanted in the kitchen so I started singing a song. I had just cooked something on the stove top and he pulled up the stool to put his hands there. I was really adamant about him getting away and he got so mad at me. His actions preceeding a tantrum are big huffs and puffs. I've noticed over the past two days that he's doing something I've heard called a nervous "tic" where he jerks his body slightly. It looks like a glitch and it bothers me so when I see him do it I hold his head steady and talk him into something else.
Instead of going to the grocery like I should have, I told Denis I'll go after the kids are in bed but also that we should take them outside to play since the weather was milder than any day before. The kids fought a bit over the Little Tykes car, but I got them to be near the swingset for a bit. Audrey was toddling across the driveway and also sat in the swing. But the boys were getting antsy and they started fighting over the single stroller in the garage. It got ugly when Ronin, who was sitting in it, was stomping on Nikko's fingers, which were trying to pry the stroller away from Ronin. The final straw was when Ronin started head-butting Nikko to get him away. I was pissed and hauled Ronin off the stroller and into the house. I cleaned his hands and put him in the timeout corner. Surprisingly, he doesn't try to stand up and run away; he sits there crying and saying, "I want UP! I want UP!" Nikko wanted me to come outside and play but I was too angry with Ronin for hurting Nikko. It was all forgotten between them by the time they started eating. Tomorrow I still have to run to Costco to get chicken nuggets, but will also try cutting the boys' hair - - still haven't done it! No school tomorrow either.
Since I was gone, I didn't see the kids for the middle of the day. Both boys had huge meltdowns when I left. Nikko could see that I had my purse ready, and when I put on my coat he started whining and crying. Denis had to hold him back, and I closed the door before Ronin got to it. When I came back 3.5 hours later, Ronin and Audrey were all smiles. Nikko was napping on the living room floor. Over the past week I noticed that Nikko hadn't been covering his ears as often as he had in the past. But tonight I noticed that he did it a little, at random things in the house, and definitely at me when he was upset that I wasn't understanding what he wanted in the kitchen so I started singing a song. I had just cooked something on the stove top and he pulled up the stool to put his hands there. I was really adamant about him getting away and he got so mad at me. His actions preceeding a tantrum are big huffs and puffs. I've noticed over the past two days that he's doing something I've heard called a nervous "tic" where he jerks his body slightly. It looks like a glitch and it bothers me so when I see him do it I hold his head steady and talk him into something else.
Instead of going to the grocery like I should have, I told Denis I'll go after the kids are in bed but also that we should take them outside to play since the weather was milder than any day before. The kids fought a bit over the Little Tykes car, but I got them to be near the swingset for a bit. Audrey was toddling across the driveway and also sat in the swing. But the boys were getting antsy and they started fighting over the single stroller in the garage. It got ugly when Ronin, who was sitting in it, was stomping on Nikko's fingers, which were trying to pry the stroller away from Ronin. The final straw was when Ronin started head-butting Nikko to get him away. I was pissed and hauled Ronin off the stroller and into the house. I cleaned his hands and put him in the timeout corner. Surprisingly, he doesn't try to stand up and run away; he sits there crying and saying, "I want UP! I want UP!" Nikko wanted me to come outside and play but I was too angry with Ronin for hurting Nikko. It was all forgotten between them by the time they started eating. Tomorrow I still have to run to Costco to get chicken nuggets, but will also try cutting the boys' hair - - still haven't done it! No school tomorrow either.
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Oreos / Sophie / Mother of all Meltdowns
Our day was rather quiet. Nikko woke up WAY early, around 6:30 or so, and I was sure he would have woken everyone else up. Denis ushered him from the room to our bed, where Nikko seemed to rest but started gibbering and sitting up. I thought I heard Ronin start to stir around 7a so I took Nikko back to the room with me where I'd try to lie down with him a bit longer. Ronin was still sleeping when I came in, and Nikko continued to jabber instead of go back to sleep. Thus, I couldn't go back to sleep. Around 7:20a I decided to just get up and get Nikko some breakfast. Ronin woke up 20 minutes later, then I got Audrey closer to 8a and we were all awake in the kitchen except for Denis. This early waking caused Nikko to become cranky and fall asleep in the living room with us around 11:30ish. Any nap I tried to take was interrupted in 10 minute intervals by any kid in the room, take your pick. After lunch I put Ronin and Audrey down for their naps. But we had to get rocking and rolling around 3:15p because we were meeting the Creens in downtown Mount Prospect for the tail end of a Halloween celebration by the village. It was supposed to end at 4, then Oktoberfest was to continue for the adults. It was a dreary day, not as cold as it has been, but drizzling off and on.
When we got the kids in the stroller and walked to the street intersection where the event was taking place, Nikko started getting antsy and was reaching for the food bag immediately. I wondered if he was hungry for a snack, and I knew exactly what he wanted. I managed to wait until we hit the grounds before opting to give Nikko a cookie. It was the beginning of uncomfortable tension for us. As we met up with the Creens, I realized that Denis and I will have to work out a plan for handling Nikko's public meltdowns as a team. I know that giving Nikko a cookie when he starts to lash out may quiet him down temporarily, but isn't the healthiest alternative. Unfortunately, it is the only motivational item (besides a lollipop) that will placate Nikko in public. Carrot sticks or celery just won't cut it with him. And the saltine crackers or the graham crackers I normally carry aren't satisfying enough for him either. When I tell him I have no cookies, whether or not it's true, and when I stick to it and don't give him any, an inevitable meltdown/tantrum always follows and no one is happy. I usually have to leave the store I'm in because the spectacle is so great. Not fun.
Back to the Halloween thing, the Creen kids went on a pony ride while we observed from the sidelines. Ronin didn't want to leave the stroller for whatever reason, and I was positive that Nikko would probably spook the ponies if we tried to put him on one. Audrey - forget it. We headed into an Oktoberfest tent to get out of the cold and it was heated quite nicely. It was a good place to snack the kids, which I proceeded to do. Graham crackers for Audrey, crackers for Ronin and Nikko, and leftover popcorn for Nikko as well. Nikko was excited to be in the tent and seemed to like all the different people milling around. The entire grounds was loud with music piping from overly loud speakers. Nikko started running from our table to the entrance of the tent, laughing when he brushed by someone's leg. One nice guy remarked that I had my hands full, and I agreed with a smile. As I tried to give Audrey crackers in her stroller, I noticed that Nikko was venturing out a little further from the tent entrance each time. The entrance had cement barricades on either side and Nikko was soon running halfway past the barricades. I went back to fetch him a few times, entice him with juice and tried to run alongside with him to change his direction. One time I saw that he ran up to a little girl, and the girl hugged Nikko. Kinda cute, but not if the parents didn't like it. The girl continued to come into the tent by us, and when I looked at her I noticed her face from the sheet of classmates from Westbrook. I looked up at the mom and we introduced ourselves, happy that Sophie and Nikko knew each other. Nikko didn't seem to mind her presence, but was also staring over and around her, eager to get back to running. Sophie was nonverbal when I observed Nikko's preschool back in May '09, and the mom (Caroline) told me that she was still nonverbal for the most part, but could say "Hi Nikko" and "Bye Nikko". Sophie is 3.5. This must be her 2nd year in Westbrook. Her father's name is Fabian and I saw him at the last school meeting. There is a Halloween Hoopla at the school where families can come for the last half hour of class, but I am debating whether or not I can go with both Ronin and Audrey. They are still so small to cart around, Audrey not a pro-walker yet, and Ronin would definitely be everywhere. I wouldn't have a helper. BUT, I told Caroline that we would go to the sign language class on the 29th for sure.
After they parted, things went downhill for us. Nikko's running increased and Ronin joined him at the tent entrance. Nikko started running into people's legs, brushing by a person and laughing. Some people would look down and laugh, some would ignore him, and I started to see some "looks" from others. If I was nearby, I'd apologize. I heard an announcement that more activities would be taking place in our tent and realized that even more people would be walking our way. Nikko was not listening to me when I hauled him aside, and he would forcefully pry himself out of my grasp. I decided we had enough and should leave. Nikko began protesting loudly, crying out and struggling violently because he didn't want to leave. Then he started turning around and hitting at the balloons tied to the stroller. He was bucking in his seat. Finally he started lashing out at Ronin. I firmly held Nikko's arms down and told him to calm down, to which he cried and hissed his refusal. I saw a lady at the next table looking at Nikko quizzically so I put my arms around Nikko and hugged him tight. I wanted to cry right there, but pulled it together and told Denis it was TIME TO GO NOW. Bless Patrick Creen's heart, he helped wheel the stroller while Denis and I took turns hauling Nikko back to the car. When Patrick left and we started loading the kids, I couldn't help but start bawling. I put Nikko in his chair and told Denis to give me an Oreo for him to calm down. Nikko started swatting Audrey's car seat, so I figured the cookie would calm him. I gave it to Nikko in his right hand so he couldn't swat at Audrey, and Nikko was wailing GOOOOOOOO GOOOOO GOOOO. I fell apart and heaved big sobs, embarrassed for his public outburst, saddened that I couldn't calm Nikko without a cookie, and just plain old feeling horrible that Nikko had to go through this tantrum. He was probably overstimulated by the sights, sounds, smells and being outdoors. I cried on the way home. We still haven't figured out an alternative go-to item besides Oreos that would be appropriate for Nikko in a tantrum moment. Nikko was back to his old self when we got home, but the pain from our outing lasted a long time for me. I may write a message on the autism forums regarding the Oreo alternative; maybe those moms could lend me some insight.
When we got the kids in the stroller and walked to the street intersection where the event was taking place, Nikko started getting antsy and was reaching for the food bag immediately. I wondered if he was hungry for a snack, and I knew exactly what he wanted. I managed to wait until we hit the grounds before opting to give Nikko a cookie. It was the beginning of uncomfortable tension for us. As we met up with the Creens, I realized that Denis and I will have to work out a plan for handling Nikko's public meltdowns as a team. I know that giving Nikko a cookie when he starts to lash out may quiet him down temporarily, but isn't the healthiest alternative. Unfortunately, it is the only motivational item (besides a lollipop) that will placate Nikko in public. Carrot sticks or celery just won't cut it with him. And the saltine crackers or the graham crackers I normally carry aren't satisfying enough for him either. When I tell him I have no cookies, whether or not it's true, and when I stick to it and don't give him any, an inevitable meltdown/tantrum always follows and no one is happy. I usually have to leave the store I'm in because the spectacle is so great. Not fun.
Back to the Halloween thing, the Creen kids went on a pony ride while we observed from the sidelines. Ronin didn't want to leave the stroller for whatever reason, and I was positive that Nikko would probably spook the ponies if we tried to put him on one. Audrey - forget it. We headed into an Oktoberfest tent to get out of the cold and it was heated quite nicely. It was a good place to snack the kids, which I proceeded to do. Graham crackers for Audrey, crackers for Ronin and Nikko, and leftover popcorn for Nikko as well. Nikko was excited to be in the tent and seemed to like all the different people milling around. The entire grounds was loud with music piping from overly loud speakers. Nikko started running from our table to the entrance of the tent, laughing when he brushed by someone's leg. One nice guy remarked that I had my hands full, and I agreed with a smile. As I tried to give Audrey crackers in her stroller, I noticed that Nikko was venturing out a little further from the tent entrance each time. The entrance had cement barricades on either side and Nikko was soon running halfway past the barricades. I went back to fetch him a few times, entice him with juice and tried to run alongside with him to change his direction. One time I saw that he ran up to a little girl, and the girl hugged Nikko. Kinda cute, but not if the parents didn't like it. The girl continued to come into the tent by us, and when I looked at her I noticed her face from the sheet of classmates from Westbrook. I looked up at the mom and we introduced ourselves, happy that Sophie and Nikko knew each other. Nikko didn't seem to mind her presence, but was also staring over and around her, eager to get back to running. Sophie was nonverbal when I observed Nikko's preschool back in May '09, and the mom (Caroline) told me that she was still nonverbal for the most part, but could say "Hi Nikko" and "Bye Nikko". Sophie is 3.5. This must be her 2nd year in Westbrook. Her father's name is Fabian and I saw him at the last school meeting. There is a Halloween Hoopla at the school where families can come for the last half hour of class, but I am debating whether or not I can go with both Ronin and Audrey. They are still so small to cart around, Audrey not a pro-walker yet, and Ronin would definitely be everywhere. I wouldn't have a helper. BUT, I told Caroline that we would go to the sign language class on the 29th for sure.
After they parted, things went downhill for us. Nikko's running increased and Ronin joined him at the tent entrance. Nikko started running into people's legs, brushing by a person and laughing. Some people would look down and laugh, some would ignore him, and I started to see some "looks" from others. If I was nearby, I'd apologize. I heard an announcement that more activities would be taking place in our tent and realized that even more people would be walking our way. Nikko was not listening to me when I hauled him aside, and he would forcefully pry himself out of my grasp. I decided we had enough and should leave. Nikko began protesting loudly, crying out and struggling violently because he didn't want to leave. Then he started turning around and hitting at the balloons tied to the stroller. He was bucking in his seat. Finally he started lashing out at Ronin. I firmly held Nikko's arms down and told him to calm down, to which he cried and hissed his refusal. I saw a lady at the next table looking at Nikko quizzically so I put my arms around Nikko and hugged him tight. I wanted to cry right there, but pulled it together and told Denis it was TIME TO GO NOW. Bless Patrick Creen's heart, he helped wheel the stroller while Denis and I took turns hauling Nikko back to the car. When Patrick left and we started loading the kids, I couldn't help but start bawling. I put Nikko in his chair and told Denis to give me an Oreo for him to calm down. Nikko started swatting Audrey's car seat, so I figured the cookie would calm him. I gave it to Nikko in his right hand so he couldn't swat at Audrey, and Nikko was wailing GOOOOOOOO GOOOOO GOOOO. I fell apart and heaved big sobs, embarrassed for his public outburst, saddened that I couldn't calm Nikko without a cookie, and just plain old feeling horrible that Nikko had to go through this tantrum. He was probably overstimulated by the sights, sounds, smells and being outdoors. I cried on the way home. We still haven't figured out an alternative go-to item besides Oreos that would be appropriate for Nikko in a tantrum moment. Nikko was back to his old self when we got home, but the pain from our outing lasted a long time for me. I may write a message on the autism forums regarding the Oreo alternative; maybe those moms could lend me some insight.
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