Pissed at me / The short bus

8:56a - Didn't have a great send-off to school, unfortunately. When it came time to dress up for school and change his diaper, I normally just do it in the kitchen with Nikko standing up, but today I thought I could do it in my bedroom and put him on the bed. He must have thought it was a game, or didn't like the change in routine, because he flipped over onto his tummy and didn't want to be changed. Tickling him started laughter, but I didn't want to disturb Audrey and Ronin so I put him on the floor. Nikko protested, and then he didn't want to put on his clothes at all. I tried to gently coax him into his sleeves by talking about going to school, but his crying was turned on loud and I was irritated. I finished dressing him in the kitchen and had him still sulking by the time we got outdoors into the rain. Luckily the bus was rolling down the block so we didn't have to wait long. I put him in his seat, put the Big Blue Box across the aisle, then came back and gave him a kiss on the head. I think after I buckle him in, he looks up and expects that g'bye kiss. The morning will fly by until he comes home, then I plan to lunch everyone and ship us off to Mom's for a few hours.

12:06 - Wow, this kid hates my guts today. He came home from preschool ok, but wanted to watch Wiggles and wasn't satisfied with one of the TV episodes I recorded. He seemed to want to watch one of those single 3 episodes On Demand, so I finally switched to one after his whining. Even then, he was not satisfied. I went to the kitchen to make lunch, very exasperated. Even now, he's really pissed at me. I heated a second round of nuggets and he got mad that they were too hot. I'm not sure anything I do for him today will make him happy.

12:48a - We made it to mom's house, but it took FOREVER for me to finish feeding Audrey, get the backpack assembled, get the kids' diapers changed, get their socks, shoes and coats on, and walk out the door. I didn't get on the road until 3p and I really craved a nap. Never got it. As I was driving, I looked over to my right and saw one of the short school buses. I looked at the windows and saw two kids sitting toward the back. One kid was laughing heartily to himself while the kid behind him sat just staring out at the traffic. Ronin announced that he saw the school bus and I agreed with him. Suddenly the thought that this was the kind of bus Nikko was supposed to be riding to school every day hit me like a ton of bricks. The bus he takes is a regular one with the first five or six seats equipped with a pull-down panel to reveal a five-point harness. All the preschool kids are required to be buckled in. Because the harness exists on this new bus, Nikko doesn't need special bus services, with the exception of getting picked up in front of the house. I started crying because thanks to the Transportation Department of District 57 and Westbrook School, Nikko doesn't have to suffer the stigma of riding the short bus to school. Even if he did have to ride the short bus and it came to our house every day, I would be very grateful for the bus service, but right now Nikko gets to be normal and ride a long bus like all the other kids. The short bus gets a bad rap and everyone knows it. Someone on Facebook made a joking reference to stupidity as riding the short bus and I felt completely cold toward the remark because that's what my kid was supposed to be on, and that's not a funny thing. I don't know WHY I had to cry about it, but I was overwhelmed with thankfulness and appreciation.

Dad was off from work today so it was nice to see him around. We mostly stayed upstairs and the living room. Chinny had pinched Ronin's cheeks and he was clearly angry with her for doing it because he shunned and ignored her for a long time. He wouldn't give high fives to her or even look at her willingly. Nikko had slept longer from his car nap, but woke up slightly flustered and ran to the kitchen to find me. Thank goodness his mood was good. I got us home around dinnertime and things quickly forwarded to bath and bedtime.