Cries, cries

I felt like it was another one of those hurry up and wait kind of days. I'm not sure why but the kiddies are waking up slightly later than usual. At least Audrey is; I'm not entirely sure what time Nikko wakes up for the past few days because he doesn't cry out. He lays in bed and jargons to himself in a low to medium voice. This has offset Audrey's naptime a bit. Her 10:30-10:45 naptime has been pushed almost to 11:45, which means a later nap = later waking up. This delays her lunchtime bottle and thus if we are going out anywhere it's also later. That's why our mall outing was delayed, that's why today's store outing was delayed too. After Audrey had her bottle I hurried to get diapers changed so we could get out the door to Costco. Nikko started asking me for something. I worried that it was ice cream, or vitamins, and I felt really rushed so I was snapping at him and raising my voice. Chinny noticed and told me to calm down. I was exasperated because the boys kept asking for things like crackers and cookies and I didn't want to give in because it was far from snack time. I was also embarrassed and ashamed that Chinny had to tell me that Nikko was getting more upset because I was talking so loudly. She's right, and I should have calmed down. It's worse when someone else points out things that you already know, probably acknowledged but haven't done anything about. I have looked up anger management and calming techniques online, and I've documented about the anxious bubble, but I still get agitated, and I do raise my voice. I've got to control this vicious cycle!

Our trip to Costco would have been great since the boys fell asleep but for some reason Audrey chose this day to not like being in her car seat and to not like her pacifier at all. She cried and screamed on the way to the store, was quiet while I carried her in the Bjorn, and continued her rage on the way home. No diaper problems, no pinched skin, so I have NO idea why she acted this way. Perhaps it's just one of those times she didn't want to be in the car seat. I didn't make it to Whole Foods either. And Nikko was getting upset and crying, too. I figured out that it was probably because Audrey was upset, making lots of noise so that he couldn't watch the DVD properly, and possibly empathizing with her angst. Luckily, Ronin did not chime in, but he attempted to be dramatic with some whining that was totally fake. When we got home later, things calmed down and proceeded to be an uneventful night. Wednesday is Ronin's birthday so I plan to go to Mom's house at lunch. We'll possibly go to the pool in the evening when Denis comes home.