Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Mom's house & swimming

The morning was short because I planned to take the kids to mom's house around lunchtime. Nikko was acting like normal so I knew that his lip was on the road to healing. It's filled with white stuff so that's gotta be a good thing (unless it's "weeping", according to Atz. Then it's pus and not a good thing. Eeeeeeew). I gave the kids a light snack around 11a, put Audrey down for a nap and then started packing things up to leave. Also packed stuff we'd need later for our last swimming adventure of the season, when Denis comes home early from work. It's a good thing I did this early because, just to jump ahead a little, the traffic coming home was challenging so when I got home I was able to just grab the swim stuff, towels, and refill juice bottles. Anyway, we got to mom's house and had lunch in the sunroom. Nikko found an interest in the water spray can that Dad was using on his indoor orchids. It looks like a large cylinder with a pump handle for the water pressure and a little hand-held hose for controlled spraying. I'm kind of glad Nikko didn't figure out how to spray the water because we'd all have been drenched if he knew. Mom looked at Nikko's lip and said he was going to be fine. Dad said the same thing, then he left for work. We didn't stay very long because I had to get us home for swimming and Mom hadn't slept yet from working the night before. I just wanted to go there for lunch to see Dad before he goes to work, to let Mom check out Nikko's lip, and for lola bonding time since I didn't come over the day before. When I was loading the kids into the Pilot, I was piling the bags into the front seat and putting Audrey into her carseat when I heard Mom saying, "Nikko, come give mom a hug!" She was standing in the middle of the front lawn with her arms wide open. He refused her a few times, running along the sidewalk and running up to me in case I disappeared somewhere. But when I turned after snapping Audrey's car seat into the base, I heard Mom calling for a hug again, saw Nikko running toward her and whining loudly, but still running straight into her hug. Mom and I both smiled and thought that was pretty cool, that he was protesting but still allowed Mom to let her hug him. AW. It reminds me of how Mom said to me that she was DETERMINED to make Ronin like her, back in the day when he was much younger and seemed to hate everybody. Mom worked really hard to win Ronin's approval and she did win. Mom is one of Ronin's favorite people, even though he gets moody at first. I wonder if Mom would have the same kind of patience with Nikko, to get him to acknowledge and appreciate her. It looked like it today! She doesn't give up, unlike me who might throw in the towel just a few seconds earlier if I'd lost hope. Perhaps the key is not to lose hope.

We went to the pool with Denis around 5:15p and the kids loved it. They are fishes in the water. Ronin saw another boy wearing Cars swim trunks, then started running toward the boy, pointing. We had to hold him back. He did this with a Cars beach towel as well. Meanwhile, Nikko was happily gliding along the floor of the zero depth pool, sometimes swimming next to us, and giving nice, normal laughs of joy that didn't look like he was laughing at an inside joke. After the pool, when changing the kids, I was relieved that Nikko didn't start rummaging through the bags looking for fruit snacks. He has a good memory and might have recalled that I hauled out the FS last time during the adult swim break to keep the boys out of the pool. I saw him eyeing the backpack, but he didn't make a move so I was safe. Dinner was ok, but Nikko is just eating chicken nuggets again. Not eating mac cheese or even the oven fries I baked. I wonder if I should really do what the books say, put out food in front of Nikko and if he eats it, great. If he doesn't eat it, then either leave it or put the food away after mealtime is done, and leave him hungry for the next meal. The problem with the hunger thing is that he will start to drag me to the cabinets for cookies or crackers. When he drags me, he is unrelenting and things get ugly when I don't comply. Am I supposed to ignore his attempts to communicate with me that he's hungry (and not eating what I put in front of him), no matter the cost to his temperament or my sanity? Um, yeah, I think that's the feeling I get. :( So when am I going to do this? I. Don't. Know.

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