Sunday, August 1, 2010

Quick notes 2

After a trip to Costco, I took the kids to McDonald's for a sit-down meal. This is the first time I've taken them to one without a Playplace so I worried that they would get restless. They really didn't. Audrey sat in a high chair while the two boys sat in adult chairs. I put them facing the street view, chatted up about the happy meal box, and didn't make us stay very long. I think they were relatively happy. Nikko got up a few times but didn't have any meltdowns over anything. French fries keep them all very happy. After nap times, I took them out for a walk around two blocks. We caught sight of a Metra train, which is always a bonus. It was hotter than I thought because sweat was pouring down the kids' heads, including Audrey. On the way back we ran into Rachael, our neighbor, and had a chat while Denis came up the driveway. Overall the day was ok for Nikko, but he kept getting upset whenever I got upset with Ronin, which was unfortunately quite often. I am in the middle of reading my books on the strong-willed child and am still learning how to regain my composure when I have a breakdown. For example, this morning Ronin woke us up at 6:20am. It's still kind of early for me but we'll get used to it. They had breakfast, but Nikko came to me asking for a popsicle at 8:00am. I was going to refuse him, but then said, Why Not? Ronin and Audrey wanted some, too, and what started out as a good idea became sticky and messy, to my chagrin. Nikko also wasn't satisfied with the flavor of his popsicles because he refused the two generic ones I gave him after I initially gave him one of Ronin's. That was frustrating me, as well as the sticky orange goo on Audrey. All that mess was causing my anxiety to build up so much that I actually broke down while trying to corral the messes each child was making. In the middle of my sobbing I seemed to give myself my own therapy session. I must have sounded crazy as I told myself, "They are just popsicles, and they are just babies. What the HELL is my problem? They can be washed! Why am I making such a big deal about this??" I think the pressures of being with the kids nonstop for days is building on me. I've been nit-picking on them, and I think I really need to just get a little breather. It's almost easier when the internet on the laptop is working so I can escape to the asd proboard forums, to chat or to read for inspiration. Since I didn't have that this week, and still don't, I don't have an outlet to vent. That's why I'm here, I guess. Tomorrow will be better. I hope to take the kids to the pool with Tianna since it will be a hot one.

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